I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize