Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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