STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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