the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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