So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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