I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
