I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No more Irish car bombs ever.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
