having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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