And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
love makes seman taste better
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
