so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm passing your future prison.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
