You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
