His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
