Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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