dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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