I'm gonna have a badass scar
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
