So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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