just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
