He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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