I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
