Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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