New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
