It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm at about main and main street
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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