This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
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I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
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I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize