May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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