Will you blow on my dice?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
