they need to just BURY HIM!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
