i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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