we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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