i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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