Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
