Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
