i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
