The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
