used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
