2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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