i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
