Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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