we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
