the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
