My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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