apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she told me i tasted like america
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
