"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize