Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
