Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
