I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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