I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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