Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she peed on how many people?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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