Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
