I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
