I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
