lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
