I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
