i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
so much tequila, so little girl.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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