I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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