In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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