And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
