Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just wanna soil my oats bro
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
