No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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