At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
