Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
