I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize