She is in my trunk
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER