Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Yeah...right...LMAO

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  (703): belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads (202): i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel (703): Yeah...right...LMAO http://tfl.nu/ndo8
  Replies (4) Good night (1714) Bad night (1151)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her

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  (917): she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her http://tfl.nu/pixb
  Replies (6) Good night (921) Bad night (3960)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...

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  (303): Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks... http://tfl.nu/ccgl
  Replies (6) Good night (6332) Bad night (945)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.

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  (724): Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over. http://tfl.nu/rd2c
  Replies (5) Good night (3403) Bad night (1303)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.

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  (701): From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend. http://tfl.nu/i20e
  Replies (6) Good night (1947) Bad night (836)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.

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  (404): So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/3jpq
  Replies (4) Good night (1869) Bad night (848)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.

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  (508): she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking. http://tfl.nu/8dis
  Replies (15) Good night (773) Bad night (3735)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.

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  (479): I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober. http://tfl.nu/132v
  Replies (4) Good night (1646) Bad night (749)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight

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  (717): I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight http://tfl.nu/6mb9
  Replies (2) Good night (880) Bad night (453)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.

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  (817): It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life. http://tfl.nu/h7k0
  Replies (7) Good night (565) Bad night (819)
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  (585): View more from New York

  So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange

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  (585): So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange http://tfl.nu/waj5
  Replies (6) Good night (553) Bad night (442)
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  (415): View more from California

  I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...

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  (415): I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think... http://tfl.nu/7nf2
  Replies (11) Good night (427) Bad night (646)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Security deposit gone.

  (269): View more from Michigan

  burned down garage with fireworks.

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  (269): Security deposit gone. (269): burned down garage with fireworks. http://tfl.nu/rlam
  Replies (5) Good night (546) Bad night (863)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere

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  (614): Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere http://tfl.nu/d5we
  Replies (2) Good night (924) Bad night (459)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...

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  (617): you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet... http://tfl.nu/1uxq
  Replies (2) Good night (439) Bad night (932)

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