i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.