The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you win again, gameday.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.