Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Randomize
