You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize