Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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