i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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