Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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