i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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